S2 #10 (SEASON FINALE): No One Gives...

Anonymous 1: No one gives a f*** about you...

Since I started blogging, my life has gotten more thrilling and complex than it ever was. The equation of a good life demonstrates there will be challenging variables. In other words, The outcome will always be great if you survive God's most strenuous tests. Perhaps that's where I am now because everything feels too difficult to control right now.

I won't lie to you. There are times when I question myself about the posts I write before I publicize them. You can say that it's not a good sign for a craftsman to doubt their artwork. But then again, it was said before that the Titanic was unsinkable. Only a fool wouldn't have such doubts. So I like to call these second thoughts a moment of reflection. A moment where it's me and the result of these blog posts. How many people get affected? Which reader will I be touching their heart the most? What sole purpose or lesson do I want to leave behind once I put it out there? I won't know until I do so.

Anonymous 2: Tie him up. Put him in the truck.

As I sit here finishing the hookah near my bedside, I know the experiences I shared were necessary. The calm before the storm. Knowing what is yet to come. What's pending to be shared. And what willpower it takes to even have such courage to do so. I know this because many of my readers say so themselves. I'm not afraid if these posts will make people think negatively of me because those who do, have really been against me from the start. Those who really know me recognize the real me and the good intentions I intend to bring to the table. I have to speak up on anything that seems irrational. Everyone has their own way of doing so. People sing it, play an instrument, perform on grand stages like a footballer at a famous stadium, become a prominent social media influencer, or go to public hearings and formulate an immaculate improv speech on how they want change in their city. Mine is this. Being an observant person has taught me to anticipate every single person's next move. But even with that skill, it isn't enough.

I've taken steps to move more carefully in life. But once I start to feel pain again, that's where I negate and ask myself: Should I've taken the other path instead of this one? Why is this happening to me? Do I have to take a step back?

I introduced my blog with the slogan "welcome to my complexity." Hoping whoever reads my posts understands me for the things I do or get put into by the natures of this universe. I don't mean to alarm anyone; these things have been on my mind. And my mind has been very manipulative lately.

Anonymous 2: Take this exit. It's a shortcut to the warehouse.

I see a lot of signs that I should take a break and cool off for a bit.

"George, you're moving too fast." Or "George, you need to relax before you crash." I crashed numerous times, maybe even almost got myself killed. No one has seen my scars because I know how to hide them well. I can't stop because I have so much to prove myself in this scary world. A world where the hate exists and all the evil persists. I want to change it all, but it's a one-man army here. These are the burdens of a perfectionist.

Anonymous 1: He's making noise. What do we do?

Anonymous 2: Knock him out! Use the syringe on him.

I want to vent and tell you that I've gotten better at this. The mistakes I made in the past are books on my shelves kept like encyclopedias. Some have small pages, and others that took years to archive. I use this library of mine for reference. I've been trying to decide which one I should share next. I'll even convey the petty ones. Like how "I watched Endgame with the right people at the time but the wrong people for my life." How powerful these words have become with every post. I've created new connections with many folks. People have written me, noting their perspectives on my posts and developing closure with them. Heck, some family members unfollowed me because they disapproved of the truth I would put out there. Growing a solid composure has given me the respect I never thought I needed. So much is happening simultaneously that I don't know how I'm handling it.

Anonymous 1: How much longer?

Anonymous 2: Almost there. Cover his face with the sack.

This void is starting to reach me. Ouch, it's starting to eat me alive. Seems like there's nothing left to do but disappear. If this is my imagination, then so be it; call it suicide. But don't confuse this with me giving up. Life sometimes forces us to calm down. Maybe I need the summer to rescue me. Maybe spending time with my family will better me. Maybe making time for all of my necessities that I've been postponing since 2020 will cure me. I just hope I'm not too late.

Anonymous 2: Here! Let's take him to the warehouse before anyone sees us.

Anonymous 1: Damn, he's heavy.

Anonymous 2: Stop complaining... There's the chair. Let's lay him there and get the chains on. Make sure you change him into his "suit" and shave his face.

*mumbles unconsciously*

Anonymous 2: You probably can barely hear me. So I'll make this quick. We've been watching you. For a while now and I have seen what you have been doing. That's not what you promised when you sought to start this little online diary of yours. I was patient with you until you wro— never mind that now. You think you can just write about anyone and not think you wouldn't see any repercussions. Well, from now on, we will take care of your blog. We will make sure the people get the content they deserve. We will make sure you tell them everything...

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