Entry: September 14, 2020
Looking for the occultum. Looking for the hidden. Searching for the secret that may fulfill your own life. The one thing you've been holding off from doing may be the key to your success. During quarantine, I remember stalling the idea of moving out of my mom's apartment. To distract myself, I started making TikToks. Specifically, I wanted to do a video of myself throwing a marble into the mouth of a wine bottle. I obviously failed, but as a result, I had scattered 100 marbles around my room. I located and collected 99 marbles. One was missing, and I flipped my entire room, searching for this one marble. It's like I had this obsessive-compulsive disorder to find it. Regardless, I never discovered the marble. Months later, I finally took the initiative to move out of my mom's apartment. It was an exciting moment. I cleared my entire room, and nothing was left except for one thing. You can already guess what it was; it was the marble. I had completely forgotten about it. After so long of wondering when I was going to find it, it finally happened. Thus, it hit me.
Whatever you want to accomplish the most, one must take the initiative to the challenges set forward in this integrity path. We can discourage ourselves when we get to that bridge. Or we can pull through and cross that river, and maybe then you'll see yourself in a better place than the one you were in before. There's a reason they say, "if you're not happy with where you are in life, do something about it," it's because only you can find your occultum. If quarantine taught me something, it's that you should dictate your own happiness. Don't wait for anyone or anything else. So go look for your occultum. It can't be that far.