#16 How to Maintain a Relationship

Ah, love is definitely in the air if you're looking to read this post. I know most of you might feel lost on what one must do to maintain a healthy relationship. Don't worry. I'll give you the answer, and you may not like it.


Relationships are a significant commitment. It's a responsibility like caring for a pet. I'm not being obtuse. It's true! One must be on top of things with their partner. I'm talking about proper care, good communication between one another, putting food on the table, satisfying each other's desires, being their first priority in their support system. All of this sounds stressful, right? Well, that's because it is. Being in a relationship is like having another job. So why do people still get into them? Because a relationship provides the one thing that we all inevitably search for. This thing glues everything together between two individuals. And that's love. (Oh my god, George is "simping" again! Get him out of here!)

No one in the world appreciates working hard for a relationship. It's difficult. A lot of energy is invested, but all of it is worth the fight because of love. The first time I was in a relationship, I performed the work to maintain it because I was in love (or under the illusion of love). And when I fell out of love (which is another interesting story), I simply stopped working on maintaining it. Love is one of the keys to a relationship's prosperity, but it's not the primary way to maintain a relationship. Any couple can be in love in a relationship and still end up splitting. How's that possible? Circumstances in life can sabotage a partnership. One might have to deploy far away for a job. Maybe the love just wasn't enough, and that's precisely why you have to understand that love isn't the only thing in a relationship. Two other factors construct the foundation of a relationship. One of them is trust.

Trust is another critical component in the establishment of a relationship. You know the old cliche sayings. "Trust is like a mirror..." "Trust goes both ways." "Without trust, there's no us." All of these make a point. They reiterate the concept of trust within a relationship. Both partners must have an equivalent amount of reliance on each other. An unbalanced trust scale would clearly collapse the entire alliance. One partner would live life normally while the other will simply be on edge. For this modern era, the trust-issued individual would always check your Instagram activity, what photos you liked, and make sure you text them first before getting onto the social media app. They would ask you for your location frequently. Sounds like madness, right? That's why we implement trust in a relationship! It maintains the peace. Keeps that toxic trait we all have deep inside buried down. But even then, most people can quickly break that trust with someone, which triggers that ugly trait, overtaking the best of us. A being who can easily decide to break that trust signifies that they have no respect for you. So, remember when I tell you that trust is one of the purest qualities a person can have. It's top two of the rarest features most relationships require to maintain them. And before you ask, trust is number two. So what is the top one? If it's not love or trust, what's the top tier quality that triumphs the other two?


 

As mentioned at the beginning of this post, most of you may not like the answer that lays ahead. Perhaps it will be due to the lack of comprehension of why this quality is rationally and irrationally the key to maintaining a relationship. Yet, I hope to make myself more transparent as to why this trait is highly significant in securing a relationship. So you know that one song from John Legend called "All of Me?" When John wrote this song to his wife Chrissy Teigen, the lyrics: 'Cause I give you all of me, and you give me all of you. It takes both to truly uptake this attribute to fulfill the promise of giving each other all of them in a relationship. It takes sacrifice.

Sacrifice? Huh? What do you mean by that? Well, let me tell you. First, let's knock out the dumb pointers. When I say sacrifice, I don't mean kill for someone. Well, I hope you don't have to anyway. I also don't mean any unambiguous sacrifices such as, "I'll give up the chance of sleeping with multiple women just to be with you." I mean, if you really find that nice, then I guess that works for you. However, that's not where I'm going with this. Now keep in mind there is no gender perspective in this. Both men and women essentially need this trait for their relationship to work. Sacrifice is the ability to give up almost all of yourself for the one you love. This ability is vital, and it has to go both ways. Most of you may believe I'm mixing this up with the term compromise. It's literally the same idea. For instance, let's say a wife has gotten a significant job offer in Europe. The husband, who has made his entire life in the U.S., has to make a decision to either go with his wife or stay here. Both don't agree with the idea of long-distance. So what's next? This can go two ways;


A: the husband can give up his way of life and start anew in Europe with his wife.

B: the wife can decline the job opportunity and resume life here with her husband.


Making these kinds of choices is never easy, considering the outcome of these choices. One may end up resentful. This is why, with sacrifice, one must voluntarily do it. After the sacrifice is made, there can be a compromise. To illustrate, if option A is chosen, the husband can always say, "I always wanted to explore all of Europe." And option B, the wife can state, "Europe is very far from here anyway. I can get to explore other opportunities here."


Sacrifices aren't always easy. And that's what makes it the purest feature of them all. I want you to look back at your past relationships and ask yourself if those past partners have actually sacrificed something of them for you and vice versa. If you haven't sacrificed anything for them willingly, that must tell you something. Don't ask me. I don't know your business. But I'll tell you this, it takes great maturity to make sacrifices.


Now, most of you might be skeptical about the idea of sacrificing the things you love for the one you love. Check out former Mexican actress Allisson Lozz. You'll be astonished as to why she chose to discontinue her career. All I'm saying is this sacrifice trait is the key to maintaining a relationship. Everything is else is easy.

To conclude, you probably hate the idea that you must sacrifice to authenticate your relationship. You may even say, "I'll just find myself with someone within the same path as mine to avoid big sacrificing." Look who's being obtuse now. That's not how life works. I mean, it could happen, but rarely. Relationships aren't as simple as they sound. They are complex and challenging. Just remember these three traits, and you must be genuine from within to naturally apply towards your relationship—love, trust, and above all, sacrifice.


Written By: George M.

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