#11 Dating: Breaking the 4th Wall



Love is rare. That's what everyone is in search of nonstop. Even if they don't admit it, we seek that special connection with another being. And we use this term called dating to bridge that connection with someone else. But dating can mean different things to a lot of people. It can imply that one is merely looking to meet new people. Another definition can signify that one is looking to mess around and screw with multiple men/women. But the real purpose (for me at least) is to explore the mind of someone you're already connected with. Dating for me is where you and that other person are slightly affixed but need to interact with each other more to construct that world you and that other person would want to live in.


Dating is everywhere. And there are a variety of ways to do it. There's your smartphone (that's one way). Go ahead, text that person that's caught your attention quickly and continue reading this post. I'll wait...Are you back? Right. Moving on. There's also going to restaurants to get food, going clubbing to dance. You can even go hiking with someone, and it would be considered a date. The one problem that grinds my gears is that what most people today forget to do on these kinds of dates is to explore the other person's mind. Now don't get me wrong; it's fun to share a fancy restaurant with someone or take them to your favorite cliff with a gorgeous view. Having small talks about what's here or there. There's no problem with that. However, if you are really into the person, then consider searching deep into their minds. Converse about their favorite hobbies. Learn about their past. Understand their morals. Accept their flaws. Love for who they are. Attraction isn't just physical. It's everything else.

Now I can't speak for women, but I can address for my fellow male comrades. Another problem in today's dating world is where the majority of these guys stand. Many of you try so hard to create this fake persona of yourself only to score a one night stand with someone. Suppose that's your agenda, cool. Make sure the other person knows that. Don't waste their time. We complicate our lives so much by creating this fake identity of ourselves; it's mind baffling. Instead, try being yourself. Attract the right people for you. It's better, authentic, and more comfortable than having a double life. I know some of you watch those kinds of movies where the nerdy kid pretends to be some cool jock head to win the hot girl's heart. Don't forget that the protagonist never ends up with the hot girl, but with the girl that's been sidelined throughout the movie. There's a reason that always happens. The film is trying to teach you a moral lesson. Duh.


With all the fake personalities roaming around the dating world, it's no wonder everywhere I look, people are struggling to find the right one. Dating today has people trapped in one room with four walls. Most people can't move on because they're trapped in some loop, believing that the next person they meet will be the same false, cocky, narcissistic kind with the goal they only want to accomplish to establish a sexual relationship. Here's the thing. There is a way to break that 4th wall—a way to attract and WOW that person. And the best part, nobody can fake it because you can only mean it for it to work.

Let's put it in my perspective. I want to break the 4th wall for this beautiful girl. She's been through a lot of pain. She's trapped in the four wall room. She's also afraid of leaving this room, metaphorically turning it into a defense mechanism. It takes the right person to get her out. It takes someone who will go the extra mile for this girl. A man with patience because those walls are concrete-made and thick, and the only tool you got on your hand is a spoon. It takes someone with a pure heart. If you have that power within and trust me, only you'll know, then you have what it takes to get that girl. You have to be unique and desire to conquer someone's heart truly. Only then will I ever obliterate that 4th wall and win her.


Dating has gotten worse in the modern world. But what if maybe we are all dating the wrong kind of people for us? Consider this dialogue from the film, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower:"


"Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?"


"We accept the love we think we deserve."


"Can we make them know that they deserve more?"


"We can try."


Food for thought.

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