#6 Not Everything is What It Seems



We all need to understand that the world we live in has various angles. "What are you talking about," most of you might be thinking. Picture this: a group of people can observe one situation and conclude one answer. But there can also be another group of people viewing the same scenario from a different point of view and formulate a different interpretation. It's all about perspective, right? Not always...

See, there's a lot of factors that make up the phrase "not everything is what it seems." Heck, numerous situations can relate to this saying. A marriage between two lovers, who look happy publicly, can be tumbling right at home. Or the richest man alive, with all the money in the world, is lonely and depressed on a daily base. Or two best-friends who have known each other for ten years, yet haven't dared to share any secrets about themselves towards each other. The world around you can deceive your eyes. I'm not telling you to be paranoid. No, what I want you to take from this is to lay low on that judgment characteristic we all tend to have.

Every day we all observe people, places, or moments and build an opinion on it that could be one hundred percent false. I saw a man walk in the street. This man had on ripped-hole jeans, covered in white stains. A shirt looking like it came fresh out of a war zone, stretched out, with a vast black taint spreading near the side of his ribs. And boots that appeared to be fifty years old, brown, dusty wrinkled. And right then and there as I was about to form an opinion about this man, based on his appearance, he takes out the keys to his car, unlocks the door, and hops on his 2020 Ferrari F8 Tributo. I know what you're thinking: "so he's obviously rich, but dresses poorly." Nope, see you're formulating an opinion before you get the full picture. Don't do that. The reality of this scenario is that this man works hard for his expensive values (like his car). It's obvious he's chosen a career in a job that requires wearing old and torn clothing. However, that's the significant sacrifice he opts to do. 'Looking dirty on the weekdays to look sumptuous on the weekends.'

I feel like there's this tendency within ourselves that can't help it but point our fingers at something and develop a criticism. Even I've done it in the past. We should reframe ourselves from this senseless act of judging others. There are three ways to do this: understand, accept, and love.


Understanding a person or situation can put yourself in their shoes and visualize their upbringing. You may see why this person behaves or what led to this situation to take place in the first place.

Accepting the person is the next step. Meaning you will take the person as he/she is without trying to change them. This also includes welcoming the fact that you won't be able to change the person. And eventually, you'll accept the person without trying to change them. Acceptance will help you levitate the frustration for wanting to alternate one's life. Know that you can only change little things in this world; change will only happen from the person within.

Love is the final step. Knowing the person or not, try loving them. When it comes to love, there's no cost, no harm. Love brings out the best in both you and the person. Love can even change the lives of others. And with that, that judgmental trait we all have inside will start to shrink.

This method comes from Leo Babauta, but even great minds think alike. Following these three steps can help people become less judgmental and cut off that ego boost. We are no better than others. We are the same inside, filled with flesh and blood. A less captious world creates bridges among us all. So to conclude, it's not just all about perspective, but also having experience and commiseration.

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