#19 This Year Was Crazy/Quarantine Life (Part Two)



This year has been a weird oscillating of a roller coaster. So much has occurred throughout this period that it feels like it lasted years. I'm not kidding. To summarize, I got heartbroken, fell deep into depression, traveled to different States. Reconnected and disconnected with family-members I would never have imagined. I almost caught the Covid Virus (twice). I met a fantastic humble group of friends. I've initiated my fitness journey. I graduated college, discovered breathtaking hiking spots, I got my soul back, caught true feelings for the first time in a long time, and most important of all, I discovered this... my blog.


Imagine this setting, a large, dark congested pine tree forest. In the middle of it, an enormous, spectral and desolate, Himalayan mountain. I was all over that forest, searching for myself. When I hit rock bottom, it was like falling into a cavern hidden in the woods. I laid there for a long time. I was being creeped on by all my worst nightmares. You know, like in a cartoon where the screen is pitch black, and all you see is the monster's white-eye color reflections, staring at you, growling. Yup, I thought I would never get out of that hell hole. However, guess where am I now? I'm on the side of the f***in' mountain about 7,000 meters above the ground! I am somewhere in life where it feels no one can touch me. The envious crowd could never reach and take away my happiness. Achieving this dynamic feeling is a significant accomplishment to me. Never have I ever been this high up top in the forest since I started my journey.


Despite the tragic outcomes of pains, losses, physiological damages the pandemic has brought to the world, those who are here now reading this can say we endured it. We are brave. We survived. Let this time help us all reflect on our old lives, the lives we had before the pandemic, how we should never take anything or anyone for granted. That there is so much growing up to do. Understand that the old ways don't work and what new changes we must implement not just on ourselves but also to society. A village that sticks together is a city that prospers for eternity.

According to an Instagram Poll I conducted a few months back, most of you voted the pandemic was necessary, while a few countered that idea. No doubt the year 2020 will be an unforgettable time we wish we could forget. Many lost loved ones because of this global crisis. Their lives would have remained peaceful, untouched if the virus never came to the surface. Nevertheless, to pretend to live in a fantasy-like "what if" simply won't make it real. It happened, and as hard as it is, we all must move forward. For some, the pandemic was a curse. For others, it was a blessing. The pandemic was a blessing in disguise for me, if I'm specific. Let me bring you back real quick.

 

Inside the hidden cavern: So there I was, lying down, feeling like the inner demons in me was pulling me down on the ground. My body was stagnant. The floor was so cold that the chill rushed across my spine, triggering the goosebumps in my body to pop up. I wanted to get up. Except I couldn't. This was my Purgatory. The silence echoed in the room. Anything that would come out of my mouth would get sucked into a vacuum. Any cry for help would be pointless. Nobody could help me. Not my friends. Not even my parents. It even felt like God couldn't reach me. I felt abandoned by him. Ultimately I was by myself. And that's when it hit me...


The righteous person, whose life is descending, can only retaliate with the proper approach; ascension. Who was the only person in that room that could help me rise? That's right, me! Only me. It was all in my head. I needed to obtain the will to accomplish what needed to proceed; ascend from the darkness. I had to detach myself from everyone at that moment. Depend on no one, not even God. From there, it was just me. And from within, a place where there was nothing, this explosion occurred inside me, like the big bang. This inner drive came to exist. I got up from that floor and knew what I had to do.


So why did I say it was the best thing that this could have ever happened to me? Frankly, this dark time revealed that the power was inside me all along. It was always up to me. If you want to change, you want to be happy, and you want to accomplish and impact the world, you have to detach yourself from the liability of expecting people to help. You have to do it yourself. I don't anticipate internally but rather externally. I see that as a luxury in this life. You learn that only you can dictate your happiness. It took me a long time, but I can see the light now. That power serves me in challenging my weaknesses. For instance, Writing was my least favorite subject. Yet, look at me now. I'm here doing a Blog, and I love it. I also used to be scared to post myself on social media. Now I do it without any remorse. I'm coming different now. My ego is up high, with my humble alter ego beside me to prevent corruption.


"It's pretty cold up here, but the view is beautiful." As I continue to climb up this mountain, I always love to look down to recognize how far I've reached up. The ground's view seems dimmer and dimmer as I keep ascending, and I don't plan on stopping. Quarantine was a necessary experience for me. This new version of myself exists because of the last few months that transpired. As strange as this sounds, I am grateful for it.


To conclude this blog season, the next post will be a special, personal one that I'm courageous enough to share with the world because of my power. Thank you guys for the love and support on this.


Written By: George M.

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